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riggins44
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« on: May 19, 2008, 08:44:32 AM » |
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The police report:
Officer, honestly, this is how the fight started.
I rear-ended the car in front of me.
I admit that. It was my fault.
So, we both pull over to the side of the road,
and slowly the driver of the car I hit gets out of his car. .
And you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed... and life...
sometimes life seems like...suddenly funny?
Well, the driver of the car I hit is a DWARF!
He gets out of his car and I get out of my car.
He is frowning and scowling and he storms over to me.
Right up close at me he looks up in my face and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
And I don't know what possessed me, officer, but I look down at him and I said,
"Well, if you're not Happy -- which one are you?"
...... And that's when the fight started!
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ldysknzfn
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« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2008, 02:27:22 PM » |
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Lmao! Good one!
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 RIP Derrick
10/4/89 -06/21/05
A Mother's Love Never Dies! I miss U my Derrick-boo! |
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riggins44
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« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2008, 08:05:54 AM » |
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MARRIED TOO LONG?
Three women, one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. They decide that night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels, and a mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet up for lunch.
The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over, he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He took one look at me and said, You are the woman of my life. I love you. Then we made love all night long.
The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.
The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, What's for dinner, Batman?
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riggins44
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« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2008, 07:59:32 AM » |
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Blonde on a Diet
A Blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
He tells her, "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."
When the Blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The Blonde nods and answers, "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asks the doctor.
"No", replied the Blonde, "From all that skipping".
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Yellow31
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« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2008, 08:08:11 AM » |
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A blonde goes to the doctor for birth control pills.
The doctor writes out the prescription and gives it to her.
The blonde has it filled and goes home.
Two weeks later she returns to the doctor's office.
"Doctor these pills don't work" says the blond
"You have to give them time before they work properly" replies the doctor
Blond responds "Okay, but how do I keep them from falling out?'
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Hi my name is Yellow41 and I am a Skinsaholic.
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